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plomroma (archived): This site is a static archive of a Pleroma instance formerly hosted by me, to preserve my own messages from that time. Foreign content has been removed, but may still be available via links.


mental health (positive), SSRI
I'm on an SSRI now since a few months, Paroxetine 20mg/day, and boy does it make a difference – not just in terms of depression, which I'd gauge as secondary, but to the degree it reduces my anxiety and ruminations.

Honestly I can't remember when ever I felt so emotionally stable, and so little incapacitated by constant worry (except on party drugs for only a few hours each). I'm far from anxiety-free, but I can actually pick up the telephone to make appointments with doctors, I feel less need to over-prepare everything, and I've even managed once or twice to ask people if they'd like to cuddle. These are huge experiences for me.

I've been on and off talk and group therapies in the past half decade, but never in the slightest experienced such palpable positive results. I'm now evaluating whether and how to give therapy another go – now that I actually feel capable again to contact therapists, this time maybe even by telephone. I'm so blown away though by the effects of the SSRI that I'm not even sure anymore what to seek therapy about, if it works so well. But who knows how long that will last (and also I'd like to one day get off the SSRI again, for reasons such as some … interesting … side effects). I wonder how therapists might deal with "my meds suppress these issues, but I'd like to tackle them anyway".